Sagash

Tumbling empty spaces
twist and turn
the platform in my head speaks tomes, quick, thousands
beating out the rhythms
of the lights behind my eyelids- just pinpricks
rainbows falling behind you,
beat it out, beat it out, and another, and how many can you take
before they shrivel up spent?
Lives plaited spread in my eyes and I'm watching a girl behind glass,
she beckons to the person stood behind me
a beetle
a cactus
and nobody can hear me, as curling sensations hold my body in rapture
so weak, pushing a sheet
doesn't cause a crease.
My childhood toys have had their eyes removed but limbs left
black dots circle my bed
I want to cry in their eyes, not mine,
cascade of cotton wool liquid drowns my metre of space-
boys lying on the floor, tiny shrunken boys.

Sand and concrete fill my head,
High rise lawyer wants me dead,
Culture conquest at an end,
Jesus won't you be my friend?

Apnoea never came close to these rattling dirges,
chemistry left me empty handed and my body disappears,
leaving my head and hands separated-
a mother? A grip? I'm so distant
and I know you're further still- beyond choking supermarket patrons
pricking the hairs on the back of my neck.
These things don't reflect in the vacuum of hours
in which forever and I sleep together, protected. Rubber just removes reality.
Enormous rodents pick apart my head
and wonder what it's good for,
plant eyes on my back
and twist nails into my kneecaps, thigh, the back of my hand,
I focus on specific patches of my skin
the patterns whirl and disperse when I watch them too hard-
the hairs refuse to stand up any longer
I am pneumonia,
hidden in a tree trunk.

Ranking amateurs by their own admission,
there is no truth in recognition.
There is no poetry in language-
no life in my text messages-
dead leaves.

Defiant bastards stride beyond my peripherals into screens
tell me I'm wrong and sick, my first person absorbs even vampiric-pseudo-kindness.
Racking brains leaves only bars to swing from in the night time
sniffing with only a wall to hide me
back into Toyland.
You're still outside of here, in the commune,
waiting for word from God. She's misogynist busy.

I asked my mind last night, and he said very clearly,
he said he's not sure how we got here,
but it's so bright it must be good.
There are gorgeous trees in the distance I see
and enormous ocean
animals love me, blue beautiful and pretty giggle cupflosscake: welcome!
I am Snow White and I am immortal,
we're going to be here for an awfully long time, so settle in, it'll change to suit your mood,
your consciousness was caught on a rock, that's all,
this is the sparkling waterfall.
Desert to the East will give you rides on dunes piled on top
and we all feed from electricity here, resources will run out, but we can't perish,
there are huge turquoise ferns waving purple rivers rushing over motionless fish
their bug eyes don't swivel except in winter when the ice contains them-
the rainforest smells good
and there are no civilisations except the ants, which coincidentally, are edible.
We all wear dresses all the time
the church bells chime
for eucharist wine
your cornea will scream
for our scenes,
it's perfect and forever
perfect and forever
perfect and forever.